A Musician’s Dilemma
April. The month has gone as fast as a finger snap. Including a flute concert followed by almost 2 whole weeks of break ( which is never really a break, if you are a musician), the month passed extremely fast. Stuffed between a busy March and the exam period in May and June, this April was a moment of sleep. It gave me the sleep that I needed, but it also surprised me how quickly it passed. The days were not filled from morning to evening, it was great to wind down a bit and relax with my family. After this chill period, it is a real challenge to get back to the “everyday” practice routine. I tried to organize my days in a way, that the lessons and rehearsals are assisting me in this process. Sometimes I felt guilty for resting so much, feeling that I could have done much more, but considering how much more is going on now, I am happy that I took the opportunity. Now I see a pattern in my schedule, not a weekly or monthly pattern, but a 90-day pattern. Most of the time, after 1 extremely busy and 1 bearably busy month comes another month of rest. When I am in the middle of this resting phase, I tend to panic. Fear takes over for a second, fear of not being prepared enough, or to put it, the fear of not being good enough. In connection, I feel that sometimes the line between taking a healthy rest and being lazy is very thin. How much is enough? Who should decide? All of the productivity tips (and my life experiences as a musician) say that you have to beat the feeling of “I don’t feel like doing it” and just do it. Yes, the Nike might be right on that. It is always a dilemma and so far I could not find total coherence in any opinion or research about this topic. Maybe it is a field, where I have to trust my own truth. Thank you for reading, see you in the next post!